A Rummy Blend

My father always said "In Rome live as Romans live”. His work and travel in Merchant Navy took him to almost 70% of the countries around the world. Whenever he came back or his letters came (Yeah! the snail mail) they had some beautiful story, some rich experience, some lesson worth learning but for me they were like fairy tales from another world. I was more interested in ‘foreign’ shoes, watches, gadgets, apparels etcetra etcetra, “baki gyaan ki kami to hai nahi..mil hi jata hai kahi na kahi kabhi na kabhi😉” (that’s the beauty of being in an Indian Family 😋). The learnings were backseat but somethings stayed (hafta mention in case he reads it! ), this idiom being one of the few.

We Indians, by default, have some auto mode set since birth and tend to have faith and belief in luck & rebirth. Karma as they say! We, rather Indian subcontinent, is the land of staunch belief in keeping the beliefs. As per Naadi Shastra astrologer in Vaitheeshwaran Koil, I was ‘destined’ to be here since I had few unfulfilled tasks or complete somebody else's before Moksha hits me! Duh! So my Karma, through a voluntarily opted social service fellowship, brought me to a village in Tamil Nadu for the project, ‘Awareness of Conservation of Sacred Groves through Religious Connotation’.

Sadayampatti, a place where I’ll have experience of a lifetime and build relations which won’t have name and current birth relations but made out of just deeds & feelings perhaps old birth, as they say. A small village with few hundreds of population, having castes of Konnars, Pandaram, Ambalaar and around the same number of temples. A village woven with various sets of beliefs & driven by the same, an averagely plus minus 10% BPL area (as per the parameters that decide the so called development).

Me and my fellow, Lekshmi being from city stood out of the crowd for all the obvious reasons. I, being a North Indian, have very different features, physique, skin, eating habits, accent, way of dressing & so on whereas Lekshmi, although from neighboring state Kerela, still had half of the differences. Just spending a few days here & knowing we have almost a year to go, we thought of jumping on the ship my father always kept afloat “In Rome live as Romans live”. Cannot change the physical features, but at least can try being one of them?!

The attire of a typical Tamil Ponnu (Tamil girl) in the village, mandatorily shall have churidaar/ saree, a bindi, bangles, chain, kolusu (Anklet), earrings, dupatta and gajra/ rose flower in a neatly oiled plait. Both of us determined to look like one of them dressed almost like that, except for oil and neat hairdo (I’m afraid no one who takes step haircut in life can do that. Ever! )

Just an act of trying to blend in them, the way they dress up & eat, made them happy. Somebody from Velinadu (foreign land) going that much out of comfort zone to be one among them was welcomed with lots of praise and fun. Learning to speak, read and write was icing on the cake for they were impressed (so was I of myself even though I don’t understand after reading what actually is the word..whew!). We both were pretty happy and kind of patted our backs for being able to blend ourselves this much.

Days went by with such little but one of it’s kind of adventures, each time. It was just another hot & deserted afternoon, winds in Aadi Maasam (Tamil month) blowing at around 50mph at least, with most of the villagers resting for that hour of the day. Returning from the day’s task, we both went to a nearby shop across our ‘home’ to buy stuff. Akka asked about my health, for I fell from the Scooty for the record third time (just to be clear, I am still learning and I did not know the bicycle as well, so it's a big deal. No!?), got broken here and there every now & then. After being assured I’m better now, she said: “If you keep falling like this what will your parents think about us? We, Tamizihan, cannot take care of you!"

It was about state’s & a village’s respect and dignity so she insisted on me not driving the vehicle (Yea! the confidence that I can fall again was kinda earned and self explanatory).   I told that since out of the two of us only I learnt driving so I'll be doubly careful which she, certainly, did not buy but nodded. We had a string of talks from kids to water problem; sarees discount to fruits cost; my place to the problem of the current cut (that’s how electricity is referred here); from bus route to our projects on Oorni (Local Drinking Water Bodies) and Sacred Groves (Temple Forests).

After a while, we gathered all stuff & were paying... innocently, ignorantly and honestly, paavam as they call here she asked,”Do you belong to a very poor family?” Period.

We both too confused to react stood with dumbfounded expressions.

She continued “You usually wear the same set of clothes almost every day and then dress up like that.”

We had no reply except for the expressions we had already given so we smiled to her and came back to our room quietly. Reaching back we looked at each other from top to bottom and then there was a burst of laughter for quite a while. Guess we managed to blend even though it was a rummy blend!

Now, I got a question to my dad … ‘How much percentage I should be “In Rome live as Romans live” so that Romans think if not one of them, I'm just trying to be one of them.'? 

P.S- We still dress the same and enjoy being that.. It’s so effortless :) and fellowship officials, plz take note😈

A Slice of Life!

Dinning together we chat, we discuss, watch TV, listen to music, we hush, we hurry, we fuss mostly everything but concentrate on what we are eating, what taste does it have, what all ingredients etc.? Ain't it? We've all kind of discussions, arguments, chats over dinning table but one that took back seat was the source, the food that we need to survive (needless to mention except for when some national TV brings up the debate/news about farmers pathetic situation, roadblocks, peace march, throwing away of their produces, suicide etc.)
This is when, I belong to middle class, still 50% agri based, family where few of my immediate relatives still entirely depends on agriculture for livelihood.
So, coming to this Youth for India fellowship and settling in the rural lives was nothing very new (but not easy) for me except for the change in geographical location and the temperature (i.e- from around 2- late 20ish to 30- early40ish degrees so you can imagine!).

One random Saturday my fellow and me, received a call from anna inviting us to his house for the occasion of his daughter's home coming on her first leave from hostel (there's no term like holiday here 👻😀). Just so made me muse, we all are same human beings yet so different, sees enjoyment in different things. How, that farther we go and achieve something, the more we forget tiny little things in life. ज़िन्दगी में एक ठहराव की ज़रूरत को ही मनाने को भूल जाते हैं हम (We forget acknowledging the need for celebrating the abeyance in life). Isn't that also an accomplishment?
It was home welcoming for a feat achieved by village girl going to hostel, with idli, dosai, sambhar and thengai chutney for meals. Sitting and chatting I noticed akka and chitthi were preparing to go to field for cutting the paddy crop "Karadh Arkaradh" which means cutting of crop and karadh is a type of paddy and I went along.

There were few akkas already cutting the crop and chit chatting. The eldest lady, paati (grandmother) was around 65yrs with tobacco in her mouth & some wrapped up in saree, for later. I was excited to help them but patti scolded & asked me to go back for it was too hot. Isn't it touching when you get warmth and care just like your loved ones do, few relations you made but haven't found name for them. Of course, I had to request her to let me help them with their work and convince that I'll not cut my hand, leg, fingers with aarua (sickle) but just the paddy; I'll not get black (Yes! I had to convince them not that I wouldn't mind getting dark in sun but I'll not get dark 🙈); it's okay for my clothes to have mud and sweat on them.. whew!!
So mission 'just cut paddy and nothing else' started. Around 10 minutes passed, I was already drenched in sweat when I heard akkas around talking about some lady Nandini (few things that I could gather of their chit chat being a non Tamizihan). Tired already, I got up and inquired who's this Nandini and what's wrong with her? And.... there came the answer in bloody 40 degrees scorching, burning heat, drenched and thirsty, that it's a TV Soap! Yeah! That wtf expression crossing my face and followed by a huge laughter by all the ladies around.

Laughing, singing, teasing everybody kept working and suddenly somebody somewhere probably was happy and blessed me, for in a searing Sunday afternoon it rained, for a while. It was like heaven was let loose. Bliss were those droplets replacing the sweat-beads on my face. I felt so happy but it was short lived for it isn't that good as it sounds. It was a selfish thought! How we tend to just think aout ourselves even for a few moments of pleasure. No?! Untimely rains and crops never go together. But, why I did not see even a frown on their faces? They were worried and complained "Ah rain! it will spoil the crop." and smiled. That was it!! The only expression! Just being in field for few hours, I was more angry, frustrated and complaining for the rain than they were. Just 3 hours of my sweat was in there!

Have they adapted themselves and accepted the untimely happenings, the rejections, no support a way of life or they have learnt to be happy and fight each situation that comes along. Are we so restless, intolerant, impatient that we cannot even accept the nature's knock without cribbing forget about a smile on face, of-course unless we are selfish.

We hastened to get under a tree; they discussed TV soap, scolded me; then sang 'on my request' the song which is part of Tamil tradition (knock knock the folklores, songs and traditions are vanishing somewhere they told sadly and I observed disheartingly) while sowing or cutting paddy.
Since it turned to drizzle so we got back to wrap up and around in an hour 5 of us completed the task. As a feat achieved 'by me' they brought a cold drink and they celebrated laughing and chit chatting applauding me. Sometime in between one akka sitting next to me, yun hi baat karte karte, took out a cloth and started wiping the sweat off my face, neck, arms again and again and again till I was dry. I let her do that and just watched her awe. It was a feeling like none other, of being pampered and taken care of, of loving and expecting nothing in return :).
She still had patience, courage, love to do something for someone else in this almost cupboard love kind of world.

A smile crossed my face and eyes were full of respect for these ladies. I couldn't even gather words to thank her. It would have been injustice to her gesture. I just looked at her and she smiled. That is all I could do, take that moment and the feel alongwith me.It's now, I know whom the food prayer is addressed to. When I sit and eat, I know to appreciate the efforts of the people who strived day and night, for food to be here on my plate. I can feel what all hardships and emotions these few morsels of food went through just for me not go empty stomach even a day!

A little gesture and it said all!

Knock Knock.... Take care of the old traditions, the folklores, the stories, the emotions and farmers, they are endangered! Let them survive, they belong to us!

Leaving something for you to hymn, pray and thank....